If you are reading these words, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE MADE IT TO THE INTERNET! An impressive feat, but now you may begin to ask yourself, "sure, I am on the internet, but DO I KNOW HOW TO USE THE INTERNET?" The answer, my friends, is generally: NO.
Many people stumble upon the internet everyday. Some, perhaps attempting to shop online or check their email, and others inadvertently while letting their cat play on a computer's keyboard. So while technically these individuals are on the internet they do not know how to use the internet and may be baffled or confused by what they see. To reverse this, I have decided to assemble a series of essays divulging information previously only known to the elite and most savvy web users, titled, as you may have guessed, HOW TO USE THE INTERNET. I hope this series will help new users begin their internet experience, and perhaps give veteran users a few tips and tricks for streamlining their browsing. Good luck.
A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO THE INTERNET
Perhaps contrary to how you might imagine it, the internet is not a truck that you can just dump things on, rather it is a series of tubes. These tubes are a vehicle for sending information from one computer to another on an underground pipeline called, yep you guessed it, the WORLD WIDE WEB. The idea for this underground pipeline was first dreamed up by Al Gore during his tenure in congress. After much research and planning, Gore presented his idea to the world in THE HIGH PERFORMANCE COMPUTING AND COMMUNICATION ACT OF 1991. The bill passed, but when it came to awarding the contract for the construction of this series of tubes, many major companies were uninterested believing the idea to be "too futuristic". The contract was eventually awarded to a fledgling, but innovative construction company called GOOGLE, who developed the pipeline during the early 1990s. Due to the companies' extensive knowledge of the tubes, they were able to parley their success in construction with the Google search engine we know them for today. By the turn of the millennium, the internet was a bona fide hit, with many other companies exploring the capabilities of the tubes. And the rest, as they say, is history.
The internet has grown to include all types of content, from online gambling to 'adult' material and everything in between. These days people use the tubes on a daily basis to keep up with what's going on in the world and download music and movies for free. We are living in a very special time in history, where people are sharing ideas and information at an incredible rate, and that's why it's so important that you know how to use the internet properly. But first, a few quick rules to remember: